thats too funny dude

Will the real "Prawo Jazdy" please stand up

2009-02-19T12:23:00.000-08:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090219/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_ireland_police_polish

"DUBLIN (Reuters) – Irish police have solved the mystery of a Polish recidivist who clocked up 50 traffic offences on different addresses and who was never caught, after one officer noticed his name meant driving licence in Polish.

An internal police memo cited by Irish papers on Thursday said officers taking details of Polish traffic offenders had been mistakenly using "Prawo Jazdy," printed in the top right corner of the driving licence, as the holder's name.

"Prawo Jazdy is actually the Polish for driving licence and not the first and surname on the licence," the police memo dated June 2007 said. "It is quite embarrassing to see the system has created Prawo Jazdy as a person with over 50 identities."

A police spokesman declined to comment on the reports.

About 200,000 Polish people flocked to Ireland during the boom years of its "Celtic Tiger" economy but a poll in November indicated a third of them planned to leave due to recession.

(Reporting by Andras Gergely; Editing by Carmel Crimmins and Peter Millership)"

Yahoo! News/Reuters: Obedient motorist follows orders and crashes car

2006-10-23T14:04:00.000-07:00

"BERLIN (Reuters) - A German motorist followed the command "Turn right now!" from his navigation system and crashed into a small toilet hut by the side of the road -- about 30 yards before the crossing he was meant to take.

The overly obedient 53-year-old from Freiburg drove his sport utility vehicle off the road onto into a building site, up a stairway and into the small toilet shack, police in the eastern town of Rudolstadt said Sunday.

It caused 2,000 euros ($2,500) worth of damage to the stairway, 100 euros damage to his car, and he was also fined 35 euros.

Earlier this month an 80-year-old motorist also chose to follow his navigation system and ignored a "closed for construction" sign on a Hamburg motorway. He then crashed into a pile of sand but neither he nor his passenger were injured. "

CNN/AP: Naked beau gets flushed from the bushes

2006-06-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

"ANN ARBOR, Michigan (AP) -- A man who ran naked through his neighborhood to persuade his girlfriend to marry him got more than he bargained for when he was chased and shot at, police said.

The couple were discussing marriage early Wednesday when the woman said she wasn't sure if she was ready, according to Ann Arbor police reports.

The man responded that taking risks is an important part of life and, to prove his point, jumped out of a first-floor window and ran naked across the street.

Before he could return, he spotted a couple walking and hid in some bushes to avoid them. A 28-year-old man noticed the bushes rustling and bare feet underneath, then drew a .40-caliber handgun and ordered the naked man out, police said.

The naked suitor ran away, but the armed man gave chase and threatened to shoot, police said. The gunman fired a shot and the naked man fell to the ground, suffering minor injuries.

A resident called police, who arrested the gunman on charges of aggravated assault and carrying a concealed weapon. He was released following further investigation, police Sgt. Patrick Hughes told The Associated Press.

The naked man was not arrested and didn't want to pursue charges, Hughes said."

Reuters: The Prime Minister Eats Babies

2006-05-02T22:42:00.000-07:00

"By Stefanie Kranjec

TORONTO (Reuters) - A mocking announcement about Canada's prime minister, "Stephen Harper Eats Babies", was flashed on electronic advertising signs on Toronto area commuter trains for several days, and technicians were still scrambling on Tuesday to get the signs fixed.

"Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies," started to appear every three seconds across some LED screens late last week. The signs usually carry transit updates and advertising spots.

"It appears that this was a case of electronic vandalism," said Stephanie Sorensen, corporate communications and media specialist for the GO Transit commuter system. "We assume it was a hacker. We haven't identified the person who did this but we're working closely with the contractor who runs the signs to fix the problem."

Screens on GO Trains have been shut down since Monday. Sorensen said she expects they will remain off line for a few more days until password-protected technology is installed to protect them from computer hackers.

"We regret that it happened and we're sorry if anybody was offended, including the prime minister," Sorensen said.

GO Transit carries 47 million passengers every year on its network of buses and trains in the Toronto region"

Too Funny Dude. Oh sorry Mister Prime Minister...

MSNBC/AP: From dude to nude

2006-05-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

"TUCSON, Ariz. - Levi's and Stetsons are definitely out at the former La Tierra Linda Guest Ranch Resort, a dude ranch where Hollywood's elite vacationed during the 1930s.

Well, the hats are still OK. But the 30-acre resort, renamed as the Mira Vista Resort in its latest incarnation, is definitely catering to a different clientele.

The Mira Vista opens Monday as a clothing-optional resort, where nudists can enjoy lounging by the pool, playing tennis or doing yoga or Pilates.

"It's hard to go back to wearing a bathing suit once you've tried it nude," said Dave Landman, one of six new owners.

Landman and the other owners are targeting an industry worth $400 million a year that's doubled in three years, according to the American Association for Nude Recreation. He said the Southwest is ripe for expansion, and Tucson is a good fit for a resort because its has a large population in their 40s to late 60s, the age of most who like the lifestyle.

The ownership group plans to combine club memberships at Mira Vista with access to other resorts they own near San Diego, Sacramento, Tampa and Atlanta.

"There's a boon with interest in the Southwest. Winter visitors, baby boomers and nude recreation go hand in hand," Landman said.

Nationally, nudism is becoming more mainstream, said Carolyn Hawkins, spokeswoman for the American Association for Nude Recreation based in Kissimmee, Fla.

The association lists four "naturist groups" in Arizona, with the Shangri La Ranch just north of Phoenix as the state's other nudist resort.

Tucson Councilman Jim Blake lives near the Mira Vista and said he doesn't have a problem with it.

"It's not something I would do, but as long as they don't display themselves publicly, I don't think it's going to hurt anyone," he said.

The small resort has just 14 guest rooms, a restaurant, wellness center, pool and spa, tennis courts and the facade of an 1800s Wild West town.

Prior to the Mira Vista, the site was home to the Coyote Moon Resort and Spa for two years. It offered gay and lesbian travelers holistic health education and wellness programs but closed in December.

‘It’s hard to be a jerk when you’re naked’
Resort guests will undergo a background check and must abide by resort rules. A list of problem clients is maintained by the national association.

But there's usually few problems, Landman said.

"It's hard to be a jerk when you're naked. There's nothing to hide behind," he said.

"We're not a wild and crazy group. We are family-oriented," Landman said. "We have strict rules of behavior set up. In general, we tell people not to do anything they wouldn't do in their mother's living room."

MSNBC/AP: Man finds fruitcake from 1962 still intact

2006-04-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

"
Updated: 5:41 p.m. ET April 18, 2006
WAUKESHA, Wis. - Lance Nesta did what many people do when receiving a fruitcake — he set it aside, only to rediscover it more than 40 years later in his mother's attic. Nesta couldn't resist taking a peek at the cake, still in its original tin and wrapped in paper.

"I was amazed that it hadn't changed at all," he said.

Nesta's two aunts sent him the fruitcake in November 1962 while he was stationed in Alaska with the Army.

I opened it up and didn't know what to do with it," Nesta said. "I sure wasn't going to eat it, and I liked my fellow soldiers too much to share it with them."

As best he can remember, he packed the cake with the rest of his belongings and shipped it home to Waukesha when he left the military a few years later. He recently rediscovered the boxed fruitcake in the attic of his mother's home in Waukesha.

His mom had given him advance warning of the fruitcake back in 1962.

"She knew I hated the damn things, but she said she didn't have the heart to tell my aunts, who had already mailed it," he said.

The cake arrived wrapped in brown paper with a red "fragile, handle with care" sticker on it. The cake itself was contained in a round blue tin printed with the words "Old Fashioned Fruitcake."

"Now it's just old," Nesta said.

While looking at the cake's container this week, he noticed the listed ingredients included rum and brandy.

"If I had known back then that it had rum and brandy in it, I would have eaten it," he said.

Reuters: Undercover officers arrest drunks in bars

2006-03-23T11:38:00.000-08:00

"SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.

The first sting operation was conducted recently in a Dallas suburb where agents infiltrated 36 bars and arrested 30 people for public intoxication, said the commission's Carolyn Beck.

Being in a bar does not exempt one from the state laws against public drunkeness, Beck said.

The goal, she said, was to detain drunks before they leave a bar and go do something dangerous like drive a car.

"We feel that the only way we're going to get at the drunk driving problem and the problem of people hurting each other while drunk is by crackdowns like this," she said.

"There are a lot of dangerous and stupid things people do when they're intoxicated, other than get behind the wheel of a car," Beck said. "People walk out into traffic and get run over, people jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss."

She said the sting operations would continue throughout the state."

Dude, you can't even go to a bar and get drunk anymore.

Just don't go to Texas.

ABCNews: the longest tornado toss

2006-03-21T12:37:00.000-08:00

"March 21, 2006 — Matt Suter has never flown in an airplane, but that doesn't mean he hasn't soared above Earth.

Last week, a tornado sucked him up and out of his Missouri mobile home, only to drop him, safe and sound, in a field 1,307 feet away.

The tornado sucked up the windows, the walls, and then finally 19-year-old Suter.

"And the doors came off, the front door and back door, the windows busted," he said.

"This young man's very lucky to be alive," said meteorologist Harold Brooks. "Traveling any distance in a tornado and surviving is a big deal."

The F2 tornado carried Suter's unconscious body farther than four football fields, setting a new record and placing him in unique company.

In 1895, a 150-pound hog took flight as did a dog in 1954. The dog returned home just four hours later. In 1963, cows actually flew and then behaved "strangely" for days.

An Oklahoma baby survived after a tornado threw her 100 feet in 1999.

"All this other stuff is just stuff," said Suter's grandmother Linda Kelley. "I just wanted him to be OK."

Interestingly enough, Suter's solo flight was 10 times longer than the Wright brothers' first airplane flight. There was one other instance that rivaled Suter's: In 1955, a tornado scooped up a girl and her pony in South Dakota. It dropped the girl to the ground 1,000 feet away. Both she and her pony were unharmed. "

Funny, but also scary.

ABCnews: Dr. Phil's show nominated for the best hair

2006-03-21T09:58:00.000-08:00

"March 21, 2006 — Is it the wide, shiny front of his pate? Or is it the way the short swaths of chestnut-colored hair wrap around the sides of his head and create a half-smile under his bald top?

Whatever the reason, Dr. Phil McGraw's hairdressers can be proud of what they have done with so little to work with. The show has been nominated for best hairstyling.

The New York Post speculated that McGraw's moustache had helped to earn the series its nod. But could it just be that bald is so in, that it's the best hairstyle possible? Or does this now mean baldness has jumped the shark? Say hello to the toupee for 2007?

The therapist's series faces some strong competition in the category from supermodel Tyra Banks' self-titled show — which, along with Tony Danza's self-titled daytime talker, was dissed in both major talk show categories — and McGraw TV mentor Oprah Winfrey's talk show, among others. McGraw was also denied a talk show host nomination.

Game show "The Price Is Right" was also nominated in the hairstyling category.

The trophies will be awarded on April 28, during a live televised ceremony on ABC."

CNN: Politician saves his rival's life

2006-03-02T07:08:00.000-08:00

"ANNAPOLIS, Maryland (AP) -- State Sen. John Giannetti was waiting for his take-out order of Italian food at a Maryland restaurant on Monday when he saw a man choking. He rushed over, performed the Heimlich maneuver and dislodged a chunk of seafood -- saving the life of his political rival.

The choking man, Jim Rosapepe, is challenging Giannetti in the Democratic primary for the suburban Washington district.

"It's one of those really weird, cosmic things," Giannetti told The [Annapolis] Capital. He said Rosapepe was hunched over and moving toward him in distress, so he decided to try performing the Heimlich. (Watch rivals recount their life-saving night -- 1:42)

Rosapepe thanked his opponent for saving him.

"Obviously, it's an incredible coincidence, and a happy coincidence," said Rosapepe, a member of the University of Maryland system's Board of Regents.

The race is still on, but Senate President Thomas V. Mike Miller said he hoped Monday night's incident would soften competition between the candidates.

"Maybe this means we'll see a more uplifting campaign as a result," Miller told The Washington Post. "I mean, I would think you'd be very hard-pressed to say anything bad about a man who saved your life."

Its one of those really wierd cosmic things dude.

SI.com: streaker interrupts men's curling competition

2006-02-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

"PINEROLO, Italy (AP) -- The men's bronze medal match Friday was interrupted by a streaker.

Midway through the United States' 8-6 win over Britain, a man wearing what appeared to be a strategically placed rubber chicken ran onto one of the covered sheets of ice not being used in that session. He danced around for a bit but never tried to approach any of the players.

Curlers probably feel a little safer than most athletes -- it's hard for intruders to run across ice, especially if they're naked. John Shuster said he never felt in danger.

"Olympic security's been amazing here," he said. "We weren't worried at all."

A couple of security officials from the venue hovered near the streaker for several seconds before finally covering him and leading him away."

Reuters: He did it because he was bored

2006-02-15T09:05:00.000-08:00

"BERLIN (Reuters) - A German youth who tied himself to a foldaway bed because he was bored was rescued by police after becoming trapped in its mechanism, officials said on Tuesday.

Neighbors alerted the police in the western German town of Schwelm after hearing the 16-year-old's cries for help late on Monday night

When police entered the apartment, they found the bed had folded itself away and the red-faced youth was tied upside down to it with a tow-rope and wire and unable to free himself.

"He said he did it because he was bored," said Dietmar Trust, a spokesman for the local police. "He was visibly embarrassed but it was also a pretty amusing situation." "

Good thing the neighbors heard him.

Reuters: Tips for emailing on Valentine's Day

2006-02-10T12:17:00.000-08:00

"LONDON (Reuters) - Britons texting St Valentine's Day love messages next Tuesday should be careful they don't send them to the wrong person.

A poll of 3,000 mobile phone users that found 40 percent will be texting rather than sending cards and that one in four have misdirected a provocative text or photo.

Recipients of the unwanted texts include bosses or colleagues (9 percent) parents (3 percent) and perhaps most embarrassing of all -- ex-partners (2 percent).

The study for student phone service dot mobile revealed eight in ten 18-25 year olds have sent a flirty text message within the last year, with a third indulging in "text sex."

The survey found 60 percent of respondents had sent a flirty text to someone other than their regular partner although not without consequences for many of them.

Of those who admitted cheating, 65 percent had been caught out by their mobile, with a third saying their partner had read incriminating text messages.

With loved-up texters getting ready for the big day, dot mobile has come up with a few tips:

-- Keep flirty messages short.

-- Observe the two-day rule: get in touch after meeting someone within two days, no longer.

-- Do not drink and text.

-- Avoid over-use of emoticons and jargon.

-- "Xs" at the end of messages should not exceed three.

-- Be careful about picture messaging which others may get their hands on.

-- Adhere to the two text rule; Admit defeat if you have not received a reply after 12 hours and two texts."

Too funny dude.

Ananova: Man told 'You're pregnant'

2006-02-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

"Man told 'You're pregnant'

A grandad received a letter from his local hospital saying "You're pregnant."

Brian Spencer from Sneinton, Nottingham was told to report to the maternity unit to prepare for the birth of his baby.

He was even told to drink plenty of water to help with his scan reports The Sun.

Brian said it was "the mother of all blunders."

A spokesman for Nottingham City Hospital admitted the mistake he said: "This occurred when we were training a new member of staff." "

Reuters: inflatable props, slogans etc...

2006-02-06T13:10:00.000-08:00

"BERLIN (Reuters) - Hundreds of fans of German soccer club Borussia Dortmund waved huge inflatable penises at local rivals Schalke 04 on Saturday above an abusive message for their hosts.

The pink blow-ups and a huge banner in Dortmund's yellow and black suggesting Schalke fans should procreate with themselves added a splash of color to the dour 0-0 draw between the two Bundesliga sides.

Schalke's stadium in the Ruhr Valley city of Gelsenkirchen will host four group matches and a quarter-final at the World Cup in Germany in June and July. "